I nearly died exactly a week ago.
At around midnight of October 28th, I woke up panting in pain, followed by a never-ending story of vomiting my guts out, bloody and watery diarrhea (may I remind you that I love you, my kind readers?), splitting headache and maddening stomachache, that lasted for what seemed like an eternity. Medically speaking, I was suffering from a food-poisoning caused by Norwalk virus from some shellfish I ate for dinner that night. Personally speaking, I was fucked up.
In the kind of pain I was and in my fading consciousness, I cursed the doctor for not giving me something just so they would let me go gracefully. Or at least give me a bloody painkiller, god freaking damn you ... I'm gonna kick you in the nuts when I come to my senses Dr. fuckface...
...everything went white and silent...
...or so it seemed.
I came to it, and before I got the chance to kick the doctor in the nuts I was removed from the hospital and in my own bed, but I know where he works and he'd better watch a roundhouse foot in a stiletto a la sak any time now, grrrrrrrrrr!
Anyway, I rose in resurrection, and now had to lay flat in my...well, flat for two days.
My body was slowing taking fluid without back-flowing. Finally! I had never been happier to be able to pee normally 15 hours later...I felt quite weak and I couldn't feel my stomach. Wait... I NEVER can feel my stomach if I was healthy, can't I? I also felt a bit sedated from whatever pills they gave me that I took to rest, but I was strangely aware of my own thoughts and I was thinking I was hungry... so I made the effort to stand up and drag my food-poisoned ass (pun intended) to the fridge only to find I had nothing substantial in it. But hey, after a night of pukarama, you don't really have a good judgement on what is considered "substantial" as food, really. Anything that has calories would have sufficed. So there I was, back on couch, with a raspberry yogurt. Well, actually, the alternatives were either raspberry preservative or garlic cubes, so what am I to do, really? "Go grocery shopping" is added in my mental to-do list under "kick doc in the nuts."
Another day off work due to a low-fever. I had some food sent, though, and I was now eating like an Alaskan bear getting ready to hibernate. That's a good thing, because I lost about 5 kg in the last 40 hours.
And that's how the story of my resurrection goes.
Until next time,
p.s. All the photos of lovely sashimi in this entry bear no actual relation to the pain bestowed upon me a week ago. And might I add, I have not stopped loving row fish, and for that, I am forever grateful.