Many Many Happy Returns!

My little A turned one yesterday!
"I love you more than a word can say, little A. Happy first birthday!"

Until next time,

Sak

One Little Baby Step

Little A is on her feet now. Still needs something to hang onto, mostly my fingers, for balance, but watch out, world! She is a-walkin'!!

Here is her first pair of shoes for training.

Couldn't resist but to put them next to my Converse.

My first shoe shopping that was more satisfying than the time I swiped my plastic for a pair of Manolos back in 2005.

Until next time,

Sak

Disney Victim

A has recently found her fondness in watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse every morning. See how her toys are pathetically and uselessly laying around her, waiting for their lady to play with them in vain? I suspect it's the colors that are so ridiculously defining and vivid that make everything look super fun for babies to stare at. Look how the picture looks stupidly clear even on a camera shot (doesn't work this way with Barney & Friends).

She loves the part where, in the beginning, Mickey forgets to say the magic words to make the clubhouse appear and tell the audience to say them with him. Damn you, Disney. Everything is made addictive to children! And did you know that babies are prone to notice round things over any other shapes? Duh.

Until next time,

Sak

Girls' Day Extravaganza

It's this thing in Japan where, on March 3rd, family's new-born girl is to be celebrated for her being born a girl by getting, well, all that you see in the photo above. A was no exception.

Until next time,

Sak

Hubby Turns 30

Friday was T's birthday, and I got to celebrate it for the third time.

For dinner he requested a home meal of matsutake mushroom cooked with rice, and grilled ayu (or sweetfish), both of which are very much in season now (and pricey, thank you very much).

Your everyday struggle as a father is very much appreciated, and comfort and support for your wife is never forgotten. Happy birthday, T!

Until next time,

Sak

Baby and the TV

Living with a father that virtually grew up in front of a TV, it's a matter of time A will encounter the offspring of a devil as I call it that resides in our living room like it owns the space, named Aquos. So I figured if she sees the screen for the first time, it might as well be showing something that is pure and adorable and, most importantbly, baby-appropriate, not some Japanese comedian duo blubbering in their western accent to confuse the hell out of my sweet baby.

So, here's the baby's first encounter with Curious George.

All I can say about her reaction to that is, I don't think she blinked once looking at the screen. Talk about curiousity!

Until next time,

Sak

Baby Fat

A shot taken while taking a rest on the stairs during our early evening walk.

I often forget how small A is. At 10 pounds and 22 inches (shy of 2 feet), she is probably the size of my nursing boobs put together. I see her up close all day long, either talking to her or holding her, instead of right next to a grown human being in comparison. Looking at her in my arms like this, I am amazed at her littleness.

Speaking of sizes, I can't seem to lose that last 7 pounds of my pregnancy fat for the life of me. It's all in the belly and the thighs, I swallowed my tears as all my summer pants and shorts have missed their prime season without ever being clad this year. Boo hoo.

Until next time,

Sak

Man At Work

Passed out on the couch in the Sunday afternoon while watching Princess Toyotomi on bluray. Seeing my exhaustion, T offered to make Sunday dinner all by himself. Refused that I come along to the super market, too.

My personal favorite was this lovely salad with cucumbers and carrots cut up in all sorts of sizes.

Love you, T!

Until next time,

Sak

Back Home

Came back to Aichi on Sunday. The heat is not so bad as I got myself preprared for, as long as I stay in.

The whole being-a-mom thing has been not so bad as I got myself prepared for, either. Little A is growing. Changing every day. Becoming more and more precious. But sometimes, I see her sleeping, I find myself screaming in my head, "Holy crap, I'm a mother of that child!" The whole notion hasn't quite sunken in yet. I go with the motion of feeding and changing and putting her to bed and all, but I still don't know how my being has changed from what I used to be to a mother, if at all. Me?! A mother!?

For the first couple of weeks, she was  virtually immobile. So it's quite entertaining to see how she has started kicking air for no apparent reason when she is happy enough. Possibly inspired by the swimmers on TV in the Olympics? 

Until next time,

Sak

And So It Begins...

...Motherhood, that is.

The Japanadian gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on June 26th.

Can hardly believe that I am a mother, and by all means I am far from being ready for what's to come. But more than that, I can hardly conceive of how much I already love this little precious. She's so ridiculously adorable, I am sure my maternal instinct will catch on in time.

The blog shall and will continue once I get back home to Aichi the end of this month. Thanks, dear readers, for following!

until next time,

Sak

May The Force Be With Nerdy Parents All Around The World

I'm in my trimetser. We really need to get things going around the house for the bun in the oven, and got a stroller and a bed.

T's little Yoda is in it for a test ride.

Resting together in a new futon set, accompanied by his little Vader.

Noted: StarWars and organic-cotton go strangely well.

Until next time,

Sak

Auntie Sak Goes Awwww

My beloved nephew H was over at my house.

Him getting his nail trimmed while he's asleep:


His arms are hilariously adorable.



Until next time,

Sak

An Aunt I Am

On Wednesday 13th January 2010 around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I became an aunt. My nephew was born.


I haven't met the little one yet, but I am already a big chub of love right now.

I'm so glad I have a nephew because I can buy him stuffed dinosaurs and books about dinosaurs and make him wear dinosaur PJs without making my sis-in-low feel standoffish (I am a big dinosaur nerd). Now if it was a niece I had, I would probably have to consider a little more girlie option, I would imagine.

Meeting the baby boy this Sunday. Can't simply wait!

Until next time,

Sak

My Ordinary Everyday

My parents and sister just came back from a week trip to Egypt. I got a text message from mom who had just arrived at Narita Airport, which read, simply, "we are back."

For the past one week, I was more worried for them than I wanted to allow myself, which I didn't realize until I got that message on my cell phone. I was at work. I was about to head out to get my lunch. I saw "mom" in the sender's box, and I wanted to cry.

When I made the decision to return to Japan two and a half years ago, my prominent reason was my family; for dad who had fallen ill. He had a cerebral hemorrhage two years prior. He was a vegetable for a half year, every day of which the rest of us was prepared for the worst. I made 4 trips a year to my home land to be a support for not just dad, but for mom, bro, and sis who had to live their everyday life with him as a center of their attention. He got better and moved from a hospital to another, and eventually came back home. But he became a completely new person.

My return to Japan was probably the first choice I have made in my life that was not for myself. It hurt me to think that I would have to leave all that I had and to stop what I had been working for. But it hurt me more to think of not choosing to.

I knew it would be a challenge for me to be living in Japan after 12 years of being away from it; it would take a bit of adjustment and I would miss the life I led in the northern America. But I really wasn't ready for feeling so completely lost. Everything I did and had in my new life seemed too surreal to conceive of for a long, long time. Work. Friends. Even family. At first it was OK. It felt like an extended summer break in a foreign land. But after about a half year, when the idea that I was here for good at least for the foreseeable future sank in, I started having problems. Problems with sense of self. Or absence of it.

I moved out of my parents' house a year ago. I do go back there on my day off, though, twice a week. I am saner around my family that way. I needed the loophole to stay as nice to them as I wanted and intended to be. Sometimes, the closeness between you and the people you care so much for can bring many uninvited conflicts and it can hurt both parties, let alone wear them out.

When mom decided she is taking dad to Egypt this summer, I flipped and told her off for being crazy. He is much, much better compared to two years ago, yes, but the former mathematician can't even speak in a language any of us understands. But mom thought, since Egypt was the only place he had ever told her he wanted to go in his life time, - and he never requested anything else in his life, really, she should take him while he still has the chance. "He isn't getting any better than he is now," she told me before she left. "Anything happens to him, at least he has seen what he had wanted to for the past 60 years of his life." My sister, a doctor, decided to tag along, which made me feel a bit better. They left last Saturday. I felt OK. I was happy for dad.

I went back to the empty house on Tuesday to feed the koi in the front yard pond and water mom's garden. I found a note left on the kitchen counter. It wasn't even a letter or a message. Mom had left bro and me where to find the documents of her bank accounts and insurance and everything that might be required in case...

In case...

I stood by the pond and fed the fish. Looking at their eager mouths on the surface of the water, I started feeling like running, like I couldn't stay there still. Like I had to be doing something productive. Something meaningful. Something worthy. Anything. Anything that would magically make dad be safe in the Egyptian desert of sand and heat. In a place without me being fucking there to render my shoulder for him as he walked limping.

Sometimes, it takes being away from your beloveds to realize the value of having an ordinary everyday, even if that ordinary everyday is something you gave so much up for in the first place to have. And it scares you shitless when the beloveds leave you right where you are and go out of your reach. Because that's when you realize the impact that will be dropped on you if you lose that ordinary everyday that you take for granted.

And today, I feel like I have regained at least a part of sense of my self that I thought I had lost.

By the way, sis brought back a chart for the Hieroglyphic alphabet, which I found very intriguing.


Until next time,

Sak